8 MINUTES OF SCHOOL LEFT AND I JUST WANNA RUN IN THE HALLWAY AND DO CART-WHEELS AND GET ON THE BUS AND GO HOME! THE LAST FEW MINUTES OF WAITING FOR THE BELL TO RELEASE YOU FOR THE WEEKEND OR A BREAK IS HARD. ITS SO MUCH ANTICIPATION! I MEAN, JUST KNOWING THAT THE ONLY THING HOLDING YOU BACK FROM WALKING OUT THAT DOOR IS A FEW MINUTES AND A BELL IS, WELL, PRETTY STUPID!

2007! OMG!!!!! I AM SO EXCITED THAT THERE IS NOT LONG TO GO!!!!! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MY ENTIRE LIFE! THE FEELING FOR BEING A SENIOR IS WONDERFUL! THERE IS NOTHING LIKE THE FEELING OF KNOWING THAT SCHOOL IS ALMOST OVER FOR YOU AND BEING A SENIOR. WHEN THE DAY FINALLY COMES AND YOU BECOME A SENIOR YOU WILL UNDERSTAND MY EXCITMENT. ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL AND YOU WALK IN SCHOOL AS A SENIOR IS WHEN IT REALLY HITS YOU. I MEAN YOU FEEL AS THOUGH YOU ON TOP OF THE WORLD BECAUSE YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS ARE COMPLETE AND THAT YOUR HARD IS FINALLY PAYING OFF! I KNOW THAT WHEN YOUR A JUNIOR YOUR STILL UPER-CLASSMA BUT AS A SENIOR ITS SO MUCH MORE DRAMATICALLY DIFFERENT!

today is friday and i have nothing planned for today but maybe tomorrow i may have some plans. i want to do something out of the ordinary and get out of the normal for atleast one day! nothing to dramatic!

wait change that i do have one thing for today! i am getting my eyebrows waxed and i am actually un-normaly excited! well thats all for this post i ahve nothing else in mind for that!

i want a motorcycle but my mom wont let me because she said over her dead body. i think since im so small and it would be kinda big. my aunt has on that has the color of reesee's on it and has the logo with the matching jacket and helmet and i think she is the inspiration for that! i figure, if she can have one...so can i! right?! ive been on one once but the pipe burnt my leg. my uncle took me when we went to mississippi for a family reunion a while ago! i was cool! some what of a rollercoaster but not as fun! speaking of rollercoasters, we're supposed to be going to cedarpoint and i am going to ride every rollercoaster like i always do because i love the rush...the only one i hvnt been on is the dragster but my sister wont let me!

after high school i plan to go to OCC for two years and then go to Maybe somewhere like Oakland University because i want to major in dance or acting because i am good in both areas but there is a lot more that i can learn from others. i think i am going major in dance and entreprenuership becausei would like to start my own dance company and open it in detroit to give the kids there something positive to do with their time so they wont have to deal with the violence or neglect!

My idol of all times is Ciara. I love her because the personality that she portrays on television is a very nice and conservative one! she seems down to Earth and calm. I wish i could say that she is but i dont know her so i cant. i love her songs and her dancing. she is my inspiration for my dancing because she shows that thee is more to dancing that shaking your butt and all the other dances that some would call "black people's dances". I would love to write oprah a letter ad explain to her that my number 2 dream is to meet ciara because she is my idol. my number 1 dream is to meet CHRIS BROWN who is an R&B artist, a singer perhaps, and he is realllly cute! he seems down to Earth as well! that would be a great comebo to have on oprah and to be on there on her favorites day so i my dreams would come true and i could win prizes!

i am in love. im so high from this feeling and i never wanna come down! its great to have some one who you can be yourself around and never be embarrased about anything. someone who knows you more than you know yourself. some one that you know feels the same way you do about you! he makes me feel special and its just great...my mom loves him but she just told me to be careful and to not get to caught up! i know i am too young to be talking like this and haveing such a big commitment but he is so great and we've known eachother for so long, 1 yr and 6 mnths, and we actually took the time to get to know eachother so we know the kind of person that the other one is! i really do see a future with him but as for right now being b/f and g/f is just good. i mean i love him and vice versa but i need to concetrate on school and my life and become more mature and build a life for myself in order and all that stuff that you have to do after high school. i dnt want to mess that up i want a futre for us but i have to make one for myslef before i do anything that will throw me off track!

my bestest friend is grounded and she is the only one i trust and cant talk about things that i need to talk about! she always there for me no matter what and i depend on her to be there at all times like i am for her. but this is really killin me! i get reaydy to call her and i pick up the phone and its like...oh i forgot! i tell her everything, she's like my walking and living diary. my mom loves her and so does my step dad but of course my niece doesnt like her, but thats natural, anyone thats not her she doesnt like. she so involved in her self that she doesnt need a b/f because its like she dates her self with all the mirror compliments and mirror kisses. its crazy! i went to look at prom dresses and this place that we went to was horrible..the dresses were from like the '60's i mean OMG! this place was so cramped, the women were so rude and all of their contents were bad. ecen the purses! ughhhh! and to thing some one some where made it and some one some where brought that dress and wore it!!! EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

so i talked to my dad yesterday and of course he called right as i was in the middle of my b/f being at my house. he had just got there and my dad called, and that happened the last time he came over. its like my dad knows when im with a boy like a radar or something. and again my niece and i are at each others throats over a bunch of nothing. so i told her yesterday that since its always one thing after another every other week that maybe we should not talk anymore and she said ok, but i know that wont last.

well me and my momma seemed to have worked out our problems but things arent like they used to be, i mean she is tyring to get me to grow up and be mature and a better person but i rather her baby me because thats the one person i can count on to help me through my problems. i do have my step dad to help me through things and spoil me, which in fact he does very well, i can talk him into anything thats good! my dad hasnt been around alot in my life because he had another family to take care off but i wish he'd been there for the important things and been there to get to know mw and see what kind of person i've grown into! a dad is a special person in a girls life who cant be replaced but i barly know my dad or even anything he likes or doesnt like...not even the basic things! he really doesnt know me but whats worse is that h acts as if he has some type of authority in my life such as i cant date or what i can and cant do and all this other non-sense stuff. he'll tell me weather or not i can go and spend the night at a friends house and stuff but its like thats what i have a mom for. right?

life

so my life has been a little shakey for a while between my niece and i bitting each other's heads off and my boyfriend and i having a few problems but nothing too serious. i have noticed that guys are dingbats because they only want one thing from you and we all know what that is but at the same time they can be some of the coolest people around.
since i've had a b/f most of my guy friend don't like talkin' to me too much. i have come to the realization that guys only become your friend for one reason and again we all know what that is. and here, i thought that they liked me as a friend because i was cool and a good person but they were all like mountain lions. waiting to pounce when they find you at your weakest and lonliest.
my mom and i are growing closer but i have a huge problem with this whole growing up thing. i am 17 and have been under my moms wings since birth and now that i'm getting ready to graduate i am supposed to be all mature and grown and i dont like it. i have been spoiled and babied since i was born and now my mom expects me to drop that and become all womanly, i mean i can but for some reason i just don't want to grow up. i mean think about it, all our lives our parents tell us not to grow up too fast but then when we get older we're supposed to grow up and act our age. im not in suc a rush for this being a woman i have been a kid all my life why chage that, i really don't do chage well.
my boyfrined and i are doing good, which was expected since we both were eachothers bestststs friends for over a uyear and really got to know eachother before we hooked up. its been a month, 1 week and 5 days (and no i am not loco but i did just look it up) and we've had our ups and downs and i mean that kinda excits me, ive had real relationships before but i havnt been this out spoken about what i like and what i don't like and i am enjoying the comfortableness that i feel with him. he's great, he doesn't pressure me to do anything i don't want to like most guys and he's ginuinly a gentleman and my mom loves him.
this weekend me and my stepdad are going out prom dress shopping...cool! last weekend was cool though because i got this really, really big lion and i mean this thing is so big that i was gonna bring it to school but its too big for me to carry.
well thats enough for right now so later~~~

"sometimes when you win, you lose"

to me this quote means more than just winning games. this could mean anything from relationships to games. in relationships this could mean that when you think you have something good. you don't. when you think you have everything you could have possibly ever wanted or needed you don't.

sometimes people settle for just good or ok but this qute shows that to me. when people settle they lose because they're not gettin what they wanted. in my opinion i feel as though when i or anyone doesn't get what they want, need, or deserve then they lose. they're losing out on having they wishes and dreams come true and it is important to go out for those things and expierence them.

okay...so i know i am rambling on and on and on about what this quote means but to me it just means that winning isn't everything because losing can sometimes lead you to what you really deserve.